Battle Report 1.1 - Wargames. Calgar's comments interjected within.

Lord Calgar:

I, Chaplain Quintus, write to inform you of the progress of the war games you ordered my company to engage in with the Cadian 115th, led by Lord Commissar Alexi Klaumaulch.

As per your instructions, we deployed in a valley filled with craters, building ruins, and a forest.  My Ultramarines deployed with a Dreadnought, a Sternguard Veteran squad with lascannon and plasmagun; a Tactical Squad with Rhino; a second Tactical Squad with plasmagun and missile launcher; a Scout Squad, half with Camo Cloaks and sniper rifles, and, of course, myself.

The Lord Commissar’s Imperial Guards deployed with a Company Command Squad, with meltaguns, plasmaguns, a bodyguard, and a Chimera; a Storm Trooper Squad; a 38-man Infantry Platoon; a Veteran Squad with missile launcher, meltagun, and plasmagun; and a Leman Russ Squadron.

ROUND 1:

In our first round, my scouts moved forward quickly, but the Rhino became immobilized on the edge of a crater, unfortunately never to move again. 

Perhaps Tech Priest Cogswain should have been using the machine oil rather than drinking it. Then, maybe, our sacred machine would not have suffered such an ignoble fate.

Both my elite guard, with their lascannon, and one of my tactical squad units, with the missile launcher, attempted to destroy that hulking behemoth, the Leman Russ. Unfortunately, Brother Xion used a fragmentation round rather than a crack round, and it pinged harmlessly off the hull of the Russ. What malfunction rendered the lascannon ineffective, I know not. I shall have words with the artificer when we return to Macragge.

Idiots.

Our first victory came from our awesome Dreadnought, Ancient Maximus, who used his twin linked lascannons to completely eviscerate the Guard’s Chimera. Our second victory came when a scout picked off one of the Imperial Guard Command’s Squad two meltagunners.

At least someone can still shoot.

On the mortals’ first attack round, one infantry squad attacked my personal unit – half of one tactical squad. They hit us once, our superior power armour protected us.

As it should.

The mortals’ heavy bolter also attacked my unit, hitting us twice, but once again, their ammunition did little more than scratch our breastplates.  Lt. Porter issued a “Move, Move, Move” order, taking one unit into the protective cover of building ruins.  

Cover, hm? He should be a porter, not a soldier.

Captain Maximillian then ordered two units, including his own, to go to ground in cover. The behemoth, Leman Russ, attempted to shoot at my squad.  Fortunately, Gunner Bumpkinson fell against the targeting array at the last moment, causing the Russ to blow a new crater in the valley, but do no actual damage.  We thought that one of our Brother’s armour had been breached by the Leman Russ lascannons, but his faith in the Glorious Emperor saved him.

Faith? More likely his Astartes physiology.

ROUND 2:

In our second round, we tried once again the fire our Sternguard lascannon as well as our Tactical Squad’s missile launcher at the behemoth Leman Russ. Unfortunately, Veteran Cicero tripped while firing his lascannon, with the result that the blast hit a rock 50 yards beyond the guardsmen. As for the missile launcher, brother Cato claimed to have aimed correctly, and cannot explain his total miss.

Perhaps Cato’s enhanced eyes need glasses. Maybe a few weeks cleaning the training cages will bring his aim back.

I ordered my squad to fire against the guard squad closest to our objective, and we were able to kill two mortals and wound a third.  Our scouts then attacked the Guard’s Command squad, and seemingly wounded three men, but apparently our shots merely grazed their arms and did no significant damage.

Just a flesh wound, eh?

Dreadnought Maximus was glorious in battle, and killed two guardsmen – the bodyguard and a lasgun trooper.  We thought the remaining guardsmen would flee, but they stood firm against our brilliant shooting.

Brilliant? The Emperor’s enhanced marines can’t kill more than two mortals at a time? Seems more like pitiful to me.

When the 115th moved again, their heavy weapons squad -safely under cover in an ancient ruin - killed one of our Tactical brothers. He apparently had not taken the time to repair his armour from last month’s deployment on Calth.

Too busy flirting with the astropaths, I’d guess.

Another unit attacked my squad, hitting us 6 times, but once again the superior Astartes technology proved no match for mere mortal ammunition, and we were unscathed.  The Imperial Command Squad fired at Dreadnought Maximus, but did no damage to our glorious ancient brother. The commander who fired the plasma pistol, however, had a slight mishap and burned his own arm quite badly.  

Got to love plasma malfunctions. On the other side, at least.

The Imperial Veterans also attacked Dreadnought Maximus with both lasguns and a meltagun, but they too were foiled in their attempt to penetrate his superior armour. In the next-to-last attack of this round, the Imperials’ heavy bolter hit one brother in our tactical squad, but did no damage.  Finally, the Leman Russ fired into the Sternguard Veterans and was able to mortally wound one brother.

Can’t do much against the Russ.

ROUND 3:

In our third round of attacks, the Sternguard’s lascannon achieved a penetrating hit on the Leman Russ, leaving it shaken and unable to fire.

It’s about time.

The rocket launcher, however, merely glanced off the corner of the Russ, the rocket eventually blowing up a lovely trash heap about 25 yards behind the unit.  

Lovely? What is this, an interior decorating report?

The scouts then attempted to hit the heavy armour unit holed up in the ruins, but their sniper rifles were not sufficient to penetrate the building.  I then ordered my squad to attack the infantry squad closest to us, and we hit 7 times, caused 3 wounds, and ultimately killed two mortals.  The unit might have retreated, but Commissar Klaumaulch intimidated them into staying in formation with his aura of discipline.

Maybe Commissar Klaumaulch should be in our units, if he’s that intimidating.

Dreadnought Maximus turned on the Imperial Command squad once again, wounding Captain Maximillian and killing one other commander.  We then moved into an assault phase, with Dreadnought Maximus against the command squad and our tactical marines against the Imperial Veteran squad. 

While Maximus efficiently killed another member of the command squad, Captain Maximillian failed in his attempt to secure a live grenade onto Dreadnought Maximus’ arms. It seems he had forgotten to pull the pin before securing the grenade, thus negating the move.  Our tactical marine brothers hit the Veteran squad 10 times, wounding 6, but were only able to kill 2 veterans.  The veterans caused no wounds to our Astartes brothers, but remained in formation.

A Dreadnought and 5 Tactical Ultramarines and they only killed 3 mortals? I see some penance needing to be done here soon…

When the Imperial Guard began their third round of attacks, the heavy weapons squad again attacked our tactical marine squad that was heading for the westernmost objective. They caused 5 wounds and ultimately killed one brother.  Unfortunately, Brother Lexicus’ leadership is not yet developed sufficiently, and he led his remaining men into a retreat to behind our scouts.

Retreat? RETREAT?? I know not that word. Lexicus will regret his decision.

The Guard’s infantry attacked my unit once again, but merely grazed one brother’s arm. Lt. Porter then issued a “First rank fire, Second rank fire” order, and his infantry caused 4 wounds and killed another member of my squad.  The autocannon hit us twice, but, Emperor be praised, we healed quickly. Finally, the Imperial heavy bolter fired into my squad again, but was unable to cause any lasting damage.  Our armour was a bit dented at this point, however.

I am not amused.

In our close combat, Dreadnought Maximus finally killed Imperial Guard Captain Maximillian. He then had control of Objective #1, on the eastern ruin.  Our Tactical Marines killed one Imperial Veteran; while our Marines took two wounds, their enhanced physiology and armour prevented them from being lost to us. The Veterans passed their leadership test and refused to leave the battlefield.

A squad of Tactical Marines and they can’t kill a handful of mere mortals in two rounds of fighting? Terrible.

ROUND 4:

In our fourth round of attacks, our lascannon again shook the Leman Russ, but the missile launcher missed entirely. 

It seems to me Cato missed his calling. He should be working for the enemy.

The scouts on our western flank shot into an Imperial Guard unit hiding in the second level of the largest ruin.  They were able to kill two men, and were able to pin the rest of the squad in the ruin.  I ordered my squad to attack Commissar Klaumaulch’s unit and we caused two wounds, but were unable to kill either man. I believe our ammunition ricocheted off the walls of the ruin, greatly lowering the force of the impact.

You have an excuse for everything, don’t you, Chaplain?

Dreadnought Maximus, truly worthy of all the honors the Emperor can bestow, turned to fire against the Leman Russ and, in a glorious explosion, destroyed the Russ and all inside it.

Hm. Potentially worthy, at least.

In close combat, our Tactical Marines were able to kill one additional veteran, while the veterans succeeded only in glancing hits off the Marine armour. Yet again, however, the Veterans refused to flee the battlefield, and so we would have to fight once more.

I like these Veterans. Doomed, but honorable.

At the beginning of the Imperial Guard’s fourth round of attacks, the Imperial Storm Troopers finally entered the battlefield, successfully landing within feet of the easternmost objective.  Meanwhile, the heavy weapons unit fired upon our scouts from within the ruins, and was able to kill three scouts.  Sergeant Crassus panicked and fled the field of battle, screaming for ale and his blanky. 

Terra… I’m surrounded by idiots.

The newly arrived Storm Troopers attacked our tactical squad and killed one brother.  In the process, however, their plasma gunner, Tomas, accidentally killed himself.  He forgot to let his gun recharge and the resulting explosion was quite magnificent, if bloody.

They kill more of their own troops than my marines did. Pitiful.

Commissar Klaumaulch’s squad of flamethrowers attacked my squad and killed two of my men.  Immediately following that, a second infantry squad hit my squad again and I took one wound. Do not fear, my Lord Calgar – I heal quickly.

If only they had wounded your pen hand, both the enemy and I would have something to cheer for.

The heavy bolter attacked our scouts again, but was unable to cause any wounds.  In close combat, our Tactical Marines killed one more Veteran, and the Veterans only grazed one Marine’s armour.  The Veterans once again refused to leave the field of battle.

Only one killed? Maybe the Veterans should have been under my command.

ROUND 5:

In the fifth round of attacks, our easternmost Tactical Marine squad attacked the remaining Storm Troopers.  They were greatly successful, killing three troopers.  The one remaining Storm Trooper, Sir Robin, fled the field of battle, never to be seen again.

Brave Sir Robin ran away, did he? Ha.

Our two remaining scouts shot into one of the hidden guard squads in the ruins, but were unable to cause any substantial wounds.  The Sternguard Veterans attacked Commissar Klaumaulch’s squad and were able only to cause one wound to the honorable Commissar. The Sternguard caused three additional wounds, but unfortunately they hit non-vital areas, such as one man’s earlobe, another’s pinky finger, and the final only blew a man’s helmet off.

Non-vital areas? Like your brain?

I then ordered my remaining squad members to attack the Commissar’s squad as well, and we also caused two wounds, but they unfortunately only hit shoulders and were not serious enough to remove the men from the field.  The Tactical Marines – who had at first been stationed in the upper level of a ruin, but had now entered the field close to my squad – also attacked the Commissar’s unit and killed one man.

Dreadnought Maximus, having destroyed the Russ, turned his weapons against the Imperial Guard squad that was causing great damage to my unit.  He was able to kill two men – one with his bolter, the other with his lascannon.

I’m beginning to like Maximus more and more.

Finally, in close combat, the Tactical Marines killed one more Veteran, and the Veterans were, of course, unable to penetrate the Ultramarine armour.  The Veteran squad finally lost hope and attempted to flee the battlefield, but our glorious brothers wiped out the remaining squad.

I’m supposed to be happy that it took an entire squad three full rounds to kill one group of Imperial Guardsmen? They’re lucky these were just wargames.

In the Imperial Guard’s fifth round of attacks, the heavy weapon division attacked the westernmost Tactical Marines and caused four wounds.  We are at a loss to explain their success against us, my Lord.

Could it be your leadership? The choice to stand in front of a crater rather than in it?

The Guardsmen utilized two separate squads against my own unit and killed my remaining two men – my plasma gunner and Sergeant Justinian. I, of course, would never flee the battlefield and stood strong against the enemy.

Of course. [Sarcasm]

Two infantry units – including the one stationed in the small forest – attacked our Tactical Marines, killing one brother only.  Finally, in close combat, I was able to kill one of the men who surrounded me and successfully defended against the Commissar’s attack, despite a wound to my left arm.

As per your instructions, the war games ended at the end of this round.  The westernmost objective was not controlled by either army.  The central objective was contested, as both my close combat and two other units were within striking distance of the objective. The easternmost objective, however, was firmly in the hands of Dreadnought Maximus.  Our Ultramarines won a glorious and mighty victory for you, my Lord Calgar. 

Respectfully,

Chaplain Quintas, Ultramarine 5th Company

33% victorious is no real victory. It seems to me that Dreadnought Maximus alone earned true glory, destroying a Chimera, the Leman Russ, and annihilating an Imperial Guard command squad.  A win it might be, but there is no glory here. 

Here ends Battle Record 1.1 - I will comment again upon receiving my next battle report.
Lord Marneus Calgar

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